#18- Me and a box

Thanks for coming back party people! All 3 of you made my day!!!!!

You know age is always a weird thing....People in each age decade basically have the same thought patterns toward age...Here is what I have perceieved:
Over 50- say things like "When I was younger we didnt have..." They always feel the need to remind everyone of what luxuries they didnt have.
40's- usually spend their fourties denying they are heading toward their fifties.
30's- always say "The thirties are SOOOO good! You know who you are finally." That scares me...on my 30th bday will I wake up only to learn that I am really Asian and the curly sponge on the top of my head was permanently glued there when I was a child?
20's- Nomads who have no idea what is going to become of their life. Everything is soo free and all the other age groups envy the twenties!

Well as I leave my twenties I have to say they have been ABSOLUTELY wonderful to me. I have learned a lot about myself and I have come to terms with who I am and my quirky ways! Here are some things I have come to learn and accept about me. If you know me at all you will totally understand. If you dont then sorry we had to meet this way!

1. I like things that sparkle....If I gambled I would be the old woman with a pink "lucky"sequins hat I would wear only to play bingo. Yeah I like sparkley things!

2. I could NOT live in the country! As scared as country folk are of the city, I am scared of the country. Cant do it...

3. I lived in Indiana for College (SHOUT TO MY INDIANA PEEPS) and there is one thing I will never understand! Cow tipping. When you consider tipping a cow over a source of entertainment you yourself need to assess what road you are headed down. What do you do when your bored? Shoot pigs? Hmmm...bacon!

4. Puerto Ricans! Oh my fellow Puerto Ricans. In my twenties I have come to see just how proud Puerto Ricans really are. I mean if you go on a vacation to Puerto Rico do you really have to pack a Puerto Rican flag? Or safety pin one to your carry on back pack. Really? And ANY time you turn on the TV and their is a Puerto Rican on the screen there is always a shot to the crowd and someone is holding a Puerto Flag. I mean the news could shoot covereage of report card pick up and behind the proud parent is a man with his son on his shoulders holding the Puerto Rican flag. Sad thing is the kid probably got it from his back pack because his family just came back from PR!

5. I forget everything! I have the shortest short term memory in the world! My husbands tells me "Where is?" is the way I begin most of my sentences. I always misplace my phone and keys.

6. I forgot what Number 6 was... : /

7. I got my first car when I was 25 and I believe that I have the right to give names to whoever I come in contact with as I drive. I may give someone the name of their car, ex. "Watch it Prius!" Or sometimes if someone is strolling across the street I would say something like " Hey Ethel can you hurry it up?" The names are pretty precise and sometimes I make think I should write a book entitled "What your mom should have named you!"

8. About memory, one thing I always wonder.... Why would you have a pill for someone to take for memory? I tell people I forget stuff and then they tell me to take Gingkobaloba (however you spell it), but like, dont you think they would forget to take the pill? I mean can there be an easier way? Can you get a phone call to remind you? Unless your me and you forget your phone so either way you cant take anything. Stink, they need a to come up with a one shot lifetime supply of gingkobaloba....Im gonna copyright that and call it the youaintevergonnaforgetanythinginyourlifeagainandyouwillwishyouwouldforgetsomethingssothatpeoplewillleaveyoualone pill!

9. I love musicals! And I love singing to musicals. Why people think its ok to watch a musical and not sing to it totally baffles me! HOW can you do that? Music is meant to be sung to, so how much more a musical! Please demand Grease Sing along be brought to Chicago to fulfill my bootleg dream of attending one with all the loud talking drama majors I talked about in blog #19.

10. Gelato and Sushi! I have become a bit more cultured thats for sure. I really like gelato...Its an italian or European Ice cream. Its half the fat of regualr ice cream but creamier because it contains less air. And Sushi was always one of those things that that I would say yuck to..."How can people eat raw fish?" Look, not all sushi is raw and before you knock it you should try it. It really is good!

11. I LOVE being an Aunt. I love when my nieces and nephews call me titi. I guess its because I have been so blessed with absolutely wonderful aunts and so I know the name "Titi" (means aunt in Spanish) is more than a title to me, it is an important role and I hope I can make my nieces and nephews feel as proud of me as I am of my Titi's! I love you Ethen, Hailey, Priscilla, Luis, Emmanuel, Imari, Eneida, Justin & Miklo!

12. Game systems confuse me. Whenever I am at work I always tell the kids they can play "Nintendo." They always look at me like I just talk about their mama! Seriously? The concepts are all the same, except now you dont even need a controller or to stand in front of your TV screen with the gun trying to kill Ducks that wont die when you know you shot them! Nintendo, PS3, Xbox, Wii, Me, Her, whateva! Its the same thing!

13. MAC!!! MAC makeup has revolutionized my thinking behind makeup. My friend Vasti was gracious enough to get me hooked and now I cant help but pay attention to the eye makeup of random woman who wont blend their colors on their eyes. Ladies our eyes are palettes, make sure evrything is blended. MAC would be proud of you!

14. Spitters- Have you ever met someone that spits when they talk or get excited? I have a student who spits on me daily! He has spit in my eye, my cheek and even on my lip! One time he opened his mouth and it was like a Matrix movie, as I screamed no, I saw the spit in slow motion coming my way laughing at me! I tried to move out of the way but to no avail, I became a victim...AGAIN! So now when he speaks to me I cover my face with napkins or garbage bags! I promise I am not lying! Spitters, you know who you are. Have mercy on us! We surrender!

15. Manicures and Pedicures are a girls best friend. I feel so pretty when I have my nails and toes done, especially because I have gorgeous feet. I do have really nice toes people...if you havent seen them then this summer allow me to grace you with them! Anyways, one downside of manicures and pedicures is sitting at the nail salon wondering if they are talking about you! I always feel like I have be on the look (or listen) out. My goal for when I turn thirty is to learn what curly, afro or puerto rican sound like in Vietnamese. I dont know what I will do if I do hear those words but at least I can say them in question form so that the technicians will know I aint playin!

16. I know I may get slack for this one...But I cant take it when people treat their pets like people. There is a dog hotel??? Whatever happend to loving your dog because it was a dog? Today people want to treat their dogs like people. Look if God wanted Muffy to be a person He would have made muffy a person. I thank God that Donny does not care for animals....The only animals we have in our house are in our freezer! My belief is...."If you cant cook it we dont want it!"

17. I believe chivalry should never die. Men ,holding a door open wont kill you and if you cant pay the bill then dont ask for her hand in marriage....THATS ALL IM SAYIN!

18. Now for the ladies, I am very much for woman accomplishing their dreams....Go to school, achieve all you believe you can. If God opens the door for you walk through it ladies. But I am also very old fashioned in many reagards. I love it when I have a day off and I can clean the house and cook dinner for my husband. I love to serve him. That is an art that has been lost within this generation. Woman now say things like "He got 2 hands!" "He can make a sandwhich!" "Submit???? You want me to what? What you talkin bout Mad?" Now dont get me wrong, I am a working woman and do have days where I dont cook or cant because I am still at work. Thats when my husband will step up. But know I really believe that is what women should do. If you are at a point where you fight about submission and helping your husband, then chances are you havent found the right one! Because a real man of God would make you so secure you would never feel degraded to serve him and you would never serve because you have to but because you want to! Ladies, when God brings you that man you will understand, you will want nothing more than to make him happy and if that includes a home cooked meal you will do it!

19. Something light hearted...Sometimes I watch infommercials cause they are funny. Sometimes I watch them cause they are playing all the old school jams and I like to sing to them or because they are so cheesy I cant help but laugh at the fact that people sat down to write those scripts! Its ridunkulous!

20. In my twenties I have learned that God loves me for me and that so many times I put Him in this box and justify what he is thinking in order to not have to deal with what the real issue is, my sin! I know I am so imperfect and so instead of addressing the imperfection I say "I cant go to God again, whats He going to think" and so I shy away instead of fighting the issue head on. I recognized that Jesus did not die for perfect people and that daily I need more and more of Him!
I constantly have to take Him out of the box I put him in because who am I to speak on his behalf! Lord have mercy on me!!!

Well, of course I will end at 20 because thats just how it goes! I hope you really paid attention to number 20 because that is the one I know so many of us struggle with... But Know that HE made us....and His forgiveness is abounding.

Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well

#19 The Back Table

As a little kid people always ask you "what do you want to be when you grow up?" When you go to college you are asked the same type of question just in a "smarter" way "Whats your major?" Now if you are anything like me you always had some off the wall remark when you were younger and it always changed. I convinced myself that for a few years I would be a singing psychiatrist (I really thought singing to client would soothe them...seruiosly!), a Broadway actress, a physical therapist (until I found out it was all about science and science includes math...after that discovery in 8th grade I resigned that position), choreographer and I remember wanting to be a journalist(thats not too bad). All those fields are great when you are in elementary school and can say things like that. Its when you get to college and you still think you can be a singing psychiatrist, thats where the problems begin. Well, when I went to college, I did the fancy major that all the people who have no idea what they are going to do major in..."Undeclared."

Now let me paint the picture for you....Its college and there are students everywhere who are meeting each other. The first thing they ask is "Whats your name?" Then they hear an accent (because everyone but you has an accent) and ask "Where are you from?" then here comes the dreaded "Whats your major?" Whenever I answered "Undeclared" I always heard "Oh thats ok..." I never knew it wasnt ok! Until then! Whats worse then being undeclared is all the people telling you, you should be one thing and then thinking thats what you should do. Or comparing what you do to what others do. I always went to my other friends dorms to check out what they were doing and found so many things that correlated with each major. Here were my observations:

Nurse majors: Always had BIG books out. They were always reading and looked tired and stressed...I definitely did not want that!

Drama Majors: They were always together jumping around campus and were always singing or talking loudly as if no one could hear them..plus, they were together all the time, like they formed like mini cult and as a girl from the city that was scary! That wasnt my major!

Music Majors: (See Drama Majors)

Theology Majors: I couldnt understand them. As they spoke all I could hear is the quote from the movie with Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker "Do you hear the words that are coming out of my mouth?" Theology majors are the kind of people you need to keep a pocket dictionary with you in order to make out what they are saying. THATS A NO for me!

Education majors: Their rooms always had arts and crafts boxes in it, their rooms had yankee Candles burning or a type of fruity or seasonal scent and they always smile as they walk through the campus. I liked that! So I changed "Undeclared" and to "Education" major!

Now I have a major so I am ready to go! As I go head first into this new confident major of mine I begin to go into classrooms and am thrilled to be around students. There were all these little people around and they were stinkin cute. I taught my lessons and everything went SUPER well, so well, my teacher asked me to teach the same lesson for another teacher across the hall! Now thats exactly why I am an Education major...I belonged in that major. One day I get to the school and the teacher asked me to sit in the back of the class at a table and she would send me students who I can help at a more personal level, not teaching up front. I sat at the table and one by one these little people came and through teaching helping them with their spelling they began to open up about their homes and their families and I just stopped thinking about their work and I began to listen. These little people knew so much about their surroundings...Some made me laugh and hearing some of their stories (which the teacher later shared with me) made me cry. I left the school that day with a HUGE dillemma. I wanted to work with kids but not up front teaching Math and English....I wanted to be with kids at the back table. I knew the back table was exactly where I needed to be. SO I CRIED! I Prayed! I just spent about 2 1/2 yrs preparing for education and now I know that's not where I belonged and thats a problem because I have this young man at home (I LOVE HIM :) who is waiting for me to get out of college to make me his bride! I prayed and then sought counsel from my college counselor and she agreed I needed to be at the back table also. Problem is there is not a degree entitled "Back table" and if there was I would be the only dork to have majored in it in the history of this world! So it was decided I would become a Liberal Arts major with concentrations in the three areas I loved: Education, Psychology and Sociology. Basically the three components needed to be with the back table kids!

Now I have graduated and I need a job! I thought, I worked at the Boys and Girls Club in Indiana, let me try something similar.... NO LUCK. Nothing available in any YMCA's or Boys and Girls clubs in Chicago, nothing! I decide to branch out and landed a job at a wonderful Non for profit as a Teen Pregnancy Prevention Specialist....Nothing better than hanging out with teens and getting to talk to them about "Baby mama drama." It was at this job where I fell in love with teens, I mean I always loved teenagers but I KNEW this is what I wanted to do. My time there was very short but I left there sacrificing those students and being obedient to where God was calling me. In the next four years I learned more at another non-profit-organization than I would have ever known. I grew in my leadership there and was even given my own after school program to direct. God knew my heart. I worked with youth in the church and my heart was to serve them but those students are blessed because they have a team of leaders who are all Believers in the faith serving them faithfully...what about the students who dont go to a church? Who loves and serves them? Who listens to them at the back table? That my friends, would be me! God did give me a back table degree! Not only did he give me the degree, He gave me amazing training and WONDEFUL teens. I have had opportunites that have only come about through God! Remeber that job I loved and sacrificed? Well, I didnt't understand this when I left but I had to leave that job so that I can get the training I needed to come back. When I worked as the Teen Pregnancy Prevention Specialist I had NO idea I would go back to be the Director of the Youth Program! I now a director of a youth center....Still shocking to even hear myself say it! I have been so blessed and and am so happy with where God has led me. He has had this ordained for a very long time now. I cannot begin to explain to you the joy I feel when I am around youth! The Lord knew exactly what HE was doing...He saw me at my singing psychiatrist days, my physical therapy days and even my undeclared days. He wanted me to be undeclared so that He could guide my every decision....He knew I had to become an education major....just so that one day I would be sent to the back table and have my life changed forever!

Dont ever underestimate what God can do through something so simple. Our lives can be changed in the blink of an eye. Be obedient and pay attention to what God is saying...You never know, He may be sending you to a back table!

Psalm 31:19How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you, that you bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in you.

#20- Forgiveness

As much as I believe this blog should be #1 it cannot be the last one to write, but the first because, without this I would not be who I am now.

I for many years was very angry with my father and I harbored bitterness in my heart toward him. He didnt love me the way I wanted to be loved. He hurt me with his words and sometimes said things that pierced my heart....
When I was a teenager I became a Christian...I wasnt perfect by any means, but I knew that I loved Jesus. When I became mature in my faith I really believed I forgave my father and I believed that everything was going to be wonderful. Until...I went to college and was being pursued by a young man (who just happens to now be my husband) who wanted to marry me. I knew I loved this young man but I just could not come to terms with the M Word -Marriage. I couldnt understand why. I didnt want to be with anyone else...I wanted to be with him since I was 16 and here he is talking about being my husband I was thinking "YO! Pump the brakes!" It wasnt until I was challenged in a class to tap into the discipline of prayer.
As I prayed about my situation about the M word I found my thoughts going to my father. I pushed them away because I was "fine" with my dad. But as days went on I began to think more about my relationship with my father and I knew that it had to be addressed. So I did it! I began praying about my father and you know, something happend that I didnt expect...Tears. Lots of tears. Years worth of tears. I realized that for so long I convinced my self that "I forgave him its over," when really it wasn't. I just supressed feelings and emotions to a place so deep that even I fooled myself. So as I sat there in my tears I asked God to forgive me for the years of anger and resentment I had against my father. I asked God for two things that have caused such a different frame of mind and heart for me...I prayed "Jesus, help me to forgive my Father and help me to see Him as you do." Throughout the next season of my life it was as if God took the broken pieces of my heart and put them back together. Little by little things started to change and the change didnt come the way I would have pictured it... My father asking me for forgiveness and right there we hold hands as we walk through a lily field. I knew in my heart that God was requiring something of me. Me! Not my father! So about a month later I went home for a weekend and I asked my father to forgive me. I asked him to forgive me for the disrespect I showed him for so many years of my life and I thanked him for always providing for me with a roof over my head. My father accepted my apology and right then and there I smiled not because I did what was right but because I sensed a freedom I hadnt known. A freedom that can only come from an awesome Heavenly Father.
The months following that moment all happend so fast. The Lord truly did what I asked. He helped me forgive my father and he helped me to see my father the way He see's my father. God has allowed me to see that throughout all these years of my father "not loving me like I wanted to be loved" my father was loving me the only way he could love me. You see my dad was raised in very HORRIBLE conditions! No one should have to endure the childhood my father endured. Because he was raised in such a senseless enviornment he wasnt taught what real love was. He didnt know what a life of a young child should be like. So when he became a father he made sure his three children always had a place to live and food to eat. In his mind that is what "love" is. He never hit us, he made sure we were protected and he showed our mother affection everyday. My father truly has done his best in loving us. The way he shows his love isnt what I wanted but it is all he can give. I have been so blessed to see him as of late. I know it has a lot to do with my maturing and being married and out of the house but there is just something about him saying "Hi Bebe" (It should be Baby but his accent doesn't allow for it). It makes me happy. I believe the Lord has allowed my to love my father in a new way.

Please, I encourage who ever is reading this, if there is someone you have to forgive please ask God to help you. I know the toll unforgiveness can have in someones life and I personally can also say I know the role freedom plays in someones life. HIS freedom has healed me as a daughter, it has provided me sanity as a wife and love as a child of God. I am ever so grateful for the gift of forgiveness. I praise Jesus for all HE is and all he has restored...

Psalm 119:45I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts.

And so it begins!

SOOOOO I NEVER thought I would be a blog kinda person. I mean who really goes online and writes like a diary thingy? Well, apparently I do! I was convinced to blog by my BFFL turned Missionary Cece! She seems to be an avid fan of mine (as to what she is fanning I am not too sure! )

This blog will definitely be very sporadic. I will talk about everything and anything on my mind from Jesus, to work, to weight, to youth and of course my hubby (who I absolutely adore in case you didnt know that!) I may even find some old stuff I've written and put it up just for fun!

I am interested in seeing what becomes of this and hope you enjoy your future reads....Just to let you know I intend on not boring you as you read....so for today I am bringing back one of my oldies but goodies. But before I do let me give you some history. I have an amazing group of friends who I work out with every week (about 3-4 times a week). About 1 1/2 yrs ago I had a psycho, dumb work out where I thought I should do lunges for an extended amount of time. That my friends should be used as corporal punishment. I think instead of the electric chair they should make criminals lunge for 3 hrs. and then make them wake up and run a marathon in their soreness....OH YES AMERICA! That is torture! Here is a look at what happend the day after ...

I present to you: DIARY OF A SORE PUERTO RICAN WOMAN

4:20 am- alarm clock goes off

4:20.6 am- I roll over

4:20.7 am- I wimper

4:20.8 am- I realize I cannot move

4:21 am- I am still wimpering

4:25am- Still trying to roll

4:27am- I get up as I lean against the wall

4:29 am- I make it to my bathroom that is 2 ft away from my bedroom

4:29.8am- I begin my venture down to the toilet seat

4:31 am- Still going

4:33 am- Still going (wimper)

4:35 am - Still going

4:36 am- Sat on toilet seat (wimpering loudly)

4:37 am- Finished business began venture to stand up

4:38 am- Thinking about the pain I was about to endure

4:39 am- Prepared my will & testament

4:40 am- started to stand up

4:42 am- Still going

4:44 am- Still going

4:45 am- Trumpets sound as I get up

4:45.5 am- Thinking about which leg I should move first

4:49 am- I chose the left one!

4:55 am- I moved the left one

5:00 am- I moved the right one

5:01 am- I cursed Sonia and Bee in my mind for yesterdays work out

5:01.5 am- I realized I liked it

5:02 am- I repented

5:03 am Decided I could not go because I was on the verge of crying

5:15 am- Made it back to my bed from the bathroom (wimpering)

5:16 am- Began to roll

5:25 am- Finished rolling on bed

5:25.1am- Fell back to sleep ZZZZZZZZZZ

6:45 am alarm sounds

6:45.3 am I sound like a hurt whale and realize I have to do EVERYTHING all over again!

I was a hot mess...LOL !!!! Have a blessed day!

MAD